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[personal profile] nekrateholic
What I'm going to talk about is really, really stupid but it's either that or obsessively spamming every friend that hasn't blocked me on facebook and nobody reads this so.
I shall elaborate. On an average day I'd only use facebook for messaging and criminal case. Add the occasional pic tag, a song or some sort of a cause and that's basically all my activity. Now, that all changes if I happen to add someone I admire, like, etc. Basically someone I want to impress (it's mostly crushes, who am I kidding). And since my music taste is basically the only thing I'm full on proud of I start posting songs on a rate about 9 million times higher than usual. And those causes (strangely!) end up being things in person X's area of interest. See, I'm not even pretending I like things they like - I just filter my intersts so it looks like we have similarities or something. I flood my wall with the secret hope person X will notice my amazingness through my music, or whatever I decide is good enough to get person X's attention (it's usually just music). It gets really annoying sometimes because basically it never works (and I actually know how dumb it is) but my over romcom'd brain never gives up the hope. I keep telling myself I don't need to prove anything to anyone, that I don't have to change how I am (even on facebook) just for someone to like me but noo. It goes on until the fact that the crush is hopeless actually starts to sink in. It's always hopeless (there was a deep sigh here. I'm such a cliché.)
Now that I've written it down it seems way more pathetic than it did in my head. It hasn't stopped me yet. After all, this whole blog and this particular post is just an alternative of facebook spamming. So hopefully -
Hi, person X.

(this is where i want to post a song but the thing inside me that makes me do all of the above refuses to put a song that's not by a certain band and i'm not that obvious, ok?)

March 2017


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