nekrateholic: (Default)
See, it's almost 2am on January 1st, New Year's, and I'm sitting here with my laptop on my lap, smiling to the inactive website of a no longer existent band. I love it, even though the only sections that are not telling me they are under maintenance are the 'goods' and 'media' ones. I found myself scrolling through pictures of shows I haven't been to, live music that is likely to never be played live again, by people that are likely to never share the same stage again. To be honest, even I don't believe my words as I type them, but even if they are true, the smile is still on my face. Because even though they've been disbanded for, what, three years now? Five? I don't even know, but they are still as alive as ever. Their music is alive, their fans are alive, the love of said fans is alive, the idea, everything is freaking alive.

I used to be sad over the fact that I'll never get to see them live and honestly, there is a tinge of sadness when I scroll through all their inactive official media but I everytime I listen to their albums, each and every one of them, they might as well have come out last month. The music doesn't get old. It's alive. It's alive, even though they technically aren't.

I've been through a few phases with this band. First was the "that one band that I know two songs of" which later became "yeah, i love that band" and now this. Emotion. I can't, I simply can't see, hear, come in contact with anything of theirs without this warm, fuzzy feeling of love making an appearance inside my chest. The third phase came after they disbanded and even after the media buzz of them being disbanded died down (the fandom still, to this day isn't over it. I don't know if they ever will.). I used to get sad over the fact that it took me so long to get so into them when they were right under my nose, active, but now I know it doesn't matter, not really. I experience their music now the same way I did yesterday and the same way I will tomorrow. And next month. And next year. And a few years after that. Because it's alive.

In the end, even if the 'news' section on their website stays forever under maintenance and the 'tour' one forever silent, I'll still smile, because no, really, death never stopped them.

Oh, and I love their merch store, by the way - it's divided by eras. Eras. Because yeah, all of their albums are separate eras of their existence. It's so cool.

On my way out, let me share one last thing. I think I've already said it one too many times but I swear, I swear I can feel my heart beating the rhythm to those first seconds every time I hear this. It's beautiful.

March 2017



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