nekrateholic: (Default)
See, it's almost 2am on January 1st, New Year's, and I'm sitting here with my laptop on my lap, smiling to the inactive website of a no longer existent band. I love it, even though the only sections that are not telling me they are under maintenance are the 'goods' and 'media' ones. I found myself scrolling through pictures of shows I haven't been to, live music that is likely to never be played live again, by people that are likely to never share the same stage again. To be honest, even I don't believe my words as I type them, but even if they are true, the smile is still on my face. Because even though they've been disbanded for, what, three years now? Five? I don't even know, but they are still as alive as ever. Their music is alive, their fans are alive, the love of said fans is alive, the idea, everything is freaking alive.

I used to be sad over the fact that I'll never get to see them live and honestly, there is a tinge of sadness when I scroll through all their inactive official media but I everytime I listen to their albums, each and every one of them, they might as well have come out last month. The music doesn't get old. It's alive. It's alive, even though they technically aren't.

I've been through a few phases with this band. First was the "that one band that I know two songs of" which later became "yeah, i love that band" and now this. Emotion. I can't, I simply can't see, hear, come in contact with anything of theirs without this warm, fuzzy feeling of love making an appearance inside my chest. The third phase came after they disbanded and even after the media buzz of them being disbanded died down (the fandom still, to this day isn't over it. I don't know if they ever will.). I used to get sad over the fact that it took me so long to get so into them when they were right under my nose, active, but now I know it doesn't matter, not really. I experience their music now the same way I did yesterday and the same way I will tomorrow. And next month. And next year. And a few years after that. Because it's alive.

In the end, even if the 'news' section on their website stays forever under maintenance and the 'tour' one forever silent, I'll still smile, because no, really, death never stopped them.

Oh, and I love their merch store, by the way - it's divided by eras. Eras. Because yeah, all of their albums are separate eras of their existence. It's so cool.

On my way out, let me share one last thing. I think I've already said it one too many times but I swear, I swear I can feel my heart beating the rhythm to those first seconds every time I hear this. It's beautiful.

mcr, i guess

Tuesday, October 7th, 2014 05:59 pm
nekrateholic: (Default)
 This post is so long overdue in so many ways it's not even funny.

First way being it took me a total of about 7 years to fall completely, irreversible, and unconditionally in love with My Chemical Romance. I mean, I did know about them and I did love a lot of their songs and I probably even went through their entire discography at some point. And still, they never made their way into my 'all time favorites' list and it's a shame, really. A few months ago I was talking to this incredibly cool person (that I wish I was friends with but I can't, for the life of me, hold a conversation with) and I think he was in a My Chem phase because he tends to ramble about his 'phases' as much as I do. Anyway, somehow MCR became the topic of our conversation and he was so, so obviously more invested in them than I was and I tried to hold my front because I know them, okay, and I fucking loved a lot of their songs but somehow the conversation was still one-sided with him being the one side and me desperately trying to keep up. I think I was intimidated at the time. I am used to being the knowledgeable one when it comes to bands and when that role was taken away from me. Well. I wish I could talk to him now, though. It would probably save my roommate from being bullied into listening to My Chemical Romance.

I'm getting off topic, though (when am I not). I went into a Panic! At The Disco phase this summer and long story short, fanfiction happened and the P!ATD phase morphed into a My Chemical Romance phase. A really heavy one, too. Apparently I have a thing for theatrical bands. In a few days I had went through their discography (again) and knew the members' names (which is commitment, okay, the non-kpop bands I know the names of are five (actually, up until this summer that number was four bands less)). I had a new favorite song every day and they are just all so good it's almost painful.

I then proceeded to fall into a deep, dark emotional hole about their split (overdue). I developed this thing where it really makes me sad when a band falls apart or changes it's line-up (it was right after the P!ATD phase which contained the same deep, dark emotional hole about Ryan Ross' departure. overfuckingdue.). Even though I was sad about them not being active anymore I still felt secondhand emarassment when I read the comments section on MCR videos or, worse, the members' current projects. There was always the occasional comment comparing the new projects to MCR or long and angry and/or hateful ones about how they should've stayed together. Along with being secondhand emarrassed I was angry. I mean come on, these people are a band that's been through a lot, a band that has a meaning, they could not have just gone all 'fuck this i'm going solo', it must have been hard, it must have been even harder to start all over again and there people were, 'fans', just complaining how they should've stayed together. I honestly find it offensive. And thank fuck for the impressive amount of people who actually respect their decisions.

While trying to come out of the aforementioned emotional hole I realized that while I was sad I could never attend a My Chemical Romance concert, I was actually happy they split before they turned into a sad, modernized version of themselves. It happened to way too much of my favorite bands. This way MCR will forever be the band I worship with no 'yeah, they are awesome but their latest album isn't all that good'. Right now there isn't a My Chemical Romance I would describe as 'not all that good' and I love it that way.

Read Gerard's letter regarding the end only convinced me further that while they may not be active, My Chemical Romance will never really die. It makes me wish I researched the fuck out of them seven years ago, too. (as does listening to pre-Ryan Ross situation)

Besides, the new projects are fucking awesome. Weird as fuck, but awesome. I could not expect anything less from them.

...speaking of weird

March 2017



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