Homestuck (with pictures!)

[nekrateholic]

Look, I'm not even gonna try, here's a video. (future self note: i did try)

Here is a primer of the primer. You have:
1. Context (general universe pointers, tailored to what might be needed in a relatively canon fic because my god I cannot explain this comic in its entirety in a single post. Or multiple posts. Or at all.)
2. Ships (stuck to what was in the tagset)
3. Other Possibly Useful Filler Characters

~

1. Context

First, let's start with the most epic song in this soundtrack. Now that you have some soundtrack, there is a reason no one out of the fandom knows what the fuck is going on. No one in the fandom knows what is going on either. But plot tl;dr I guess: a bunch of kids play a game called SBURB that kind of blows up the world a few times. We also have alien trolls. They're grey?

*side note: if, for some reason, you decide to osmosis through music Heir of Grief (while the best) is not a good representation of Homestuck soundtrack lol. The vast majority of the sountrack is, essentially, chiptune.

I ended up with some fic recs in there so also fair warning: first person pov is the norm here, because that's how the comic is written. Most of Homestuck fic is in first person but you get used to it, I promise.

Here are some key points in case you're writing/drawing ships (mostly kept to canon, interpret as you will):

• general stuff/potential content warnings
  
  • well. xenophilia. about 70% of the characters are grey skinned aliens and a lot of ships are alien/human or alien/alien
  • underage: the comic starts when the main characters are ~13 (both trolls and humans). at some point they skip to 16 for plot reasons, and by the end credits they are apparently 21 but most of the plot occurs at 13-16
  • so much fucking death. but it's okay it's a little like supernatural everyone dies at least once. you could literally just kill someone, say it was an alternative timeline clone and/or it was needed so they could advance the plot and they're alive, actually, and it could pass off as canon reasonably enough
• troll relationships - four types

two typically reproduce, two are platonic (don't worry i never remember the names either)

• red romance
  • ♥, flushed quadrant: matespritship/matesprits - basically soulmates, everyone is in love and happy, also one of the two quadrants who reproduce. TYPICALLY this is supposed to be based on pity and need to help each other but literally no one in canon keeps that so no one cares
  • ♦, pale quadrant: moirailegiance/moirails - if any of you are familiar with the shadowhunters world this is essentially the concept of parabatai (i hope that's spelled right). soulmates but platonic, also stop each other from murderous rampages which is concerningly common considering the trolls are 13 at the start of the plot
• black romance
  • ♠, caliginous quadrant: kismesistude/kismesis (i actually have no idea about the plural here) - enemies to lovers with all the fun stuff except the lovers bit? the second quadrant that reproduces so if you're in the mood for alien hate sex this is your stop
  • ♣, ashen quadrant: auspisticism, auspistices (i had to copy-paste those too its ok) - basically ♠ but with the addition of 3rd person who stops them from fucking and/or killing each other, balances the relationship or w/e
• here's a handy graphic i found funny (and accurate) - we're disregarding the second row because i'm unfamiliar with it but that might be because it's in the sequel, which i haven't read. if you wanna osmosis that and explain it to me PLEASE feel very free
• troll hierarchy
  • trolls have colorful blood. different colors mean different social status
  • troll colors

here, rust is the lowest class, respectively fuchsia is essentially the queen of the world (they're both very badass)

*note: aside from these colors, we have red. red as in red like human blood, which for the purposes of this story has only one type of red and is different than rust. this is ya boi Karkat (and his predecessor Kankri). now, red is considered an anomaly, therefore much, much worse than rust which means Karkat spends 90% of that comic being extremely dramatic and hiding his blood color out of fear of being killed for it. but we're getting off topic

• beforus trolls & post-scratch kids
  • we start with alterinan trolls and pre-scratch kids
  • due to Plot Shit, at a point in the comic the main kids kind of reboot their universe (the scratch) which results into their ancestors becoming a new set of main characters.
  • post-scratch kids
    • example: lets take a random human character, my boy Dave Strider: at the start we have Dave who's guardian is his big brother, the character is literally named Dave's Bro (and kinda weird?). post-scratch, roles are reversed and Bro is actually the main character, aka Dirk Strider, while Dave (now also reduced to Dirk's Bro (not sure of the name)) is the guardian. pre- and post- scratch kids meet and interact pretty pretty normally due to Plot Shit
    • pre-scratch kids: Dave Strider, June Egbert, Rose Lalonde, Jade Harley (note: at one point in the sequel, June has transitioned; I'm not sure of the details since I haven't read the sequel but throughout the first part, June is referred to/known as John)
    • post-scratch kids (in the same order) Dirk Strider, Jane Crocker, Roxy Lalonde, Jake English
    • beforus trolls
      • as the overwhelmingly creative title suggests, these are the trolls pre-scratch (beforus is the name of their planet)
      • they're all dead and only exist in dream bubbles
      • doesn't stop them from wreaking havoc on plot, though
      • the slightly fucked up thing here is that the trolls we meet at the beginning of the story are actually post-scratch trolls, because the trolls started their Plot Shit early
      • not naming all trolls there are like 12 of each we'll be here forever
      • pre-scratch (beforus) trolls: Damara Megido, Rufioh Nitram, Mituna Captor, Meulin Leijon, Porrim Maryam, Latula Pyrope, Aranea Serket, Horuss Zahhak, Kurloz Makara, Cronus Ampora, Meenah Peixes
      • post-scratch (alternia) trolls: Aradia Megido, Tavros Nitram, Sollux Captor, Nepeta Leijon, Kanaya Maryam, Terezi Pyrope, Vriska Serket, Equius Zahhak, Gamzee Makara, Eridan Ampora, Feferi Peixes
    • what this all means for fic
      • pre- and post-scratch characters (both trolls and humans) meet a lot, can coexist with reasonable efficiency
      • beforus trolls were about 16 at the time they died but have been dead for a long time; by the time characters we start with reached that part of their journey (the alive ones) were also 16ish
• alien sex canon & fanon if you're going horny
  • canon
    • trolls reproduce via buckets as in, canonically, the dirtiest thing you can say/show to a troll is a bucket
    • supposedly they reproduce by cumming in the buckets which are later collected and thrown into a thing called "the mother grub" which kind of. hatches the new trolls?
    • tl;dr there's so much rainbow cum breeding kink basically writes itself
    • why is the cum rainbow: trolls have colorful blood and therefore cum is colorful too. (it is hinted in canon)
    • trolls all have the same sex genetically, regardless of gender
  • fanon
    • tentacles baybee - that's the most common read on how troll bits work, although, for obvious reasons, none of this is canon. the tentacle is referred to as "bulge" and what would be a vagina in humans is referred to as "nook"
    • here's another graphic but as far as i know, again, none of this is canon so there's that
• random tidbits that might come up later on
  • dream bubbles - pockets of reality which are sort of like a memory of the past; versions of characters that are dead can exist there
  • solo planets - throughout the game that starts the entire plot, each character has their own planet, tailored to something about them (it's not fun most of the time, and also full of monsters)
    • examples: LOHAC (Dave), LOLCAT (Nepeta), LOPAH (Karkat)
  • alternia - name of the planet where the trolls come from (not the beforus ones, the set we meet at the beginning
  • lusus - troll parental figures/guardians. so remember how trolls reproduce? when the kids are hatched these cryptid monsters take them to look after them; they have various horror levels, ranging from Tavros's tinkerbull to Feferi's gl'bgolyb
  • Prospit/Derse

They are planets, related to Plot Shit. according to wiki they're essentially dream bubbles but eh. each player of SBURB has a version of themselves on Derse or Prospit (depending on character traits). generally, that version is asleep when the other version is awake and vice versa

2. Ships

• Aradia/Equius (troll/troll, one of them is dead and also a robot, the other one is a bit of a murderous asshole and also into robots)
  
  
  
  • Aradia Megido
    • extremely badass
    • she's one of the most powerful characters in Homestuck
    • also dead from the get-go
    • Equius made her a robotic body which he initially programmed to be of the same blood color and into with him but she tore it apart once she realized lol
    • she's kind of creepy in her dead days, not so much alive although we pretty much only see her alive in flashbacks
    • has an ex boyfriend who is about 100000% better than Equius. Aradia's color is kind of a burgundy red, which is essentially at the bottom of the food chain
  • Equius Zahhak
    • he's not the brightest bulb in the box. sometimes i wonder if he even is in the box
    • really good with robots
    • extremely strong, extremely weird, sweats a lot and likes drinking milk although he often breaks the glass by accident
    • blue blood, which is kind of royal (not the most royal but up there) and has this haughty, fake, holier-than-thou attitude
    • but gets off on being told around by people lower than him on the food chain
    • Extremely Into Aradia
    • he's kind of like a himbo metalhead but creepier (and slightly more murderous ig)
  • this is more of a pet/master relationship although Aradia is uhh a very reluctant master
  • fics i think represent them well (both are nsfw lol): In Place, Needs Assistance, Wants Direction
    
    
• Dave/Karkat (human/troll)
  
  
  
  • Dave Strider
    • he is Badass. a Cool Guy. has the shades and everything.
    • jk (mostly)
    • we essentially met him swordfighting his brother and his brother's creepy puppet on a rooftop
    • Dave's Bro (actual character name) is his parental figure and also (allegedly) has a puppet porn business on the side
    • turntables are also Dave's thing, and once shit hits the fan in Homestuck he can control time and had to go back in time multiple times and also kill/watch his previous versions be killed.
    • boi went through a lot
    • he's extremely loyal and brave, really, a Cool Guy stereotype but make him emo, it's awesome
    • i found a handy intro video for Dave
  • Karkat Vantas
    • where Dave is quiet and Cool Karkat is... well, also cool but you gotta look deep to find that
    • really loud and extremely dramatic
    • but also extremely gullible when it comes to any type of relationship. The prospect of a relationship immediately makes him rethink his entire hatred (and there is a lot of it)
    • also really brave but unlike Dave, he will not let you forget it
    • sort of the leader of the trolls, although it's a very reluctant leadership on both sides (Karkat very much wants to be a leader, he's just constantly convinced he's bad at it and no one wants to be led by him)
    • a bit of a Special Snowflake because of his blood but ig his predecessor is an actual hero (Kankri but not the one I'll be talking about, it's weird)
    • Karkat is... trying his best, mostly. I love the dramatic little shit
  • fic I think represent them well: Looks just like the sun - this is canon so... beware, idk

• Meenah/Aranea (troll/troll, both beforus)
  
  
  
  • Meenah Peixes
    • extremely badass
    • kind? of? questionable?
    • she wouldn't hesitate to fuck someone over for her benefit but ultimately would (probably) do the right thing
    • funnily enough, she's supposed to be the wild and questionable card in this relationship but ended up trying to stop Aranea from doing some really fucked up things
    • and also comfort her when she did do the really fucked up things
  • Aranea Serket
    • i love her (mostly)
    • really i loved her on sight and then Plot Happened
    • she really likes to feel useful, and when she doesn't she kind of... wants to make it happen, no matter the price
    • her predecessor counterpart (Vriska) is kind of a negative character, and at first you're like oh! but Aranea is so different! so kind! so sweet! and she is, but she also does some pretty toxic things
    • (she essentially doomed one of the timelines and killed everyone because she was convinced her way is the right way and wouldn't hear reason)
  • here's a nice little fanvid that i think represents them well, if you look past all the toxicity

• Cronus/Kankri (troll/troll, both beforus. a ridiculously popular ship considering i couldn't find one suitable shot with them in the same frame)
  
  
  
  • Cronus Ampora
    • boi just wants to fuck.
    • technically he's royal blood but gives no shits as long as whoever is in front of him is willing to let him into their pants
    • if he was nicer, he'd probably be a himbo (or just plain old dumb as a rock?)
    • he smokes and is generally the kind of cool you considered the leather jacket kids smoking in the backyard in high school. also extremely stupid. did i mention all of his brain cells have been emptied out in his quest for the dick? using dick loosely here, i'm pretty sure he'd be willing to fuck pretty much anyone/thing.
    • he might have some deep, dramatic personality somewhere under all that horny, considering he's dead and died trying to save the world, but my guess is as good as yours
    • part of the deep, dramatic personality might be his constant identity crisis of being a human on the inside
    • the desire to fuck takes precedence though
  • Kankri Vantas
    • #TRIGGERED
    • he's the woke keyboard warrior people lock up on twitter for (literally, the beforus trolls are all modeled after internet cliches)
    • he always has something to say and kind of just. never stops saying shit. he's Karkat's predecessor so they have that in common but Kankri is much more annoying to listen to
    • THAT BEING SAID, the deep and dramatic personality here is much easier to uncover. like Karkat, Kankri has a complex about his blood and pretty much everything else. at the end of the day, i feel like he developed an ultra annoying and in-your-face personality as a defense mechanism;
    • a cute fact: he wears a red sweater (the color of his blood) which Porrim knit for him because he was cold. Porrim is essentially the mom friend, we love Porrim (although Kankri mostly doesn't)
    • Kankri is the only one who takes Cronus' identity crisis seriously
    • Kankri is VERY puritanical. i think him and mr. i'll-fuck-your-mom should kiss.
  • visual representation - here, here, also a cool fanvid

• Sollux/Feferi (troll/troll, mostly alive + an actual canon couple)
  
  
  
  • Sollux Captor
    • my god you have never seen a more depressed IT guy cliche
    • Aradia's (alleged) ex boyfriend (when she was alive)
    • REALLY good with computers
    • and REALLY fucking dramatic, but in less in-your-face way than all the others so far. like boi has many reasons to be dramatic
    • he has Vision Twofold (tm) aka has psychic powers and can hear the voices of the imminently deceased
    • went blind at some point, which helped with the voices. also died but was sort of... resurrected... by Feferi
    • via a kiss. do you see where I'm going with this
    • the kiss is a legit way to revive someone by the way, remember how i said everyone dies a few times? kiss is the way to go, it wakes up the Prospit/Derse version but can only be done once (and if the Prospit/Derse version is yknow. alive. most of them aren't)
  • Feferi Peixes
    • literal mermaid queen
    • no tail but she lives underwater so it counts
    • her blood is fuchsia, aka at the very top of the royal foodchain
    • her lusus eats troll children
    • her lusus also accidentally killed Sollux (and their entire planet)
    • she's one of the kindest and definitely the wisest characters, rivalled only by Jade Harley
    • she Gets Shit Done
    • while her lusus was killing everyone, she stayed behind to make sure that Sollux's alt self will live (via a kiss. to his dead body)

• Jake/Dirk (i have a love hate relationship with them but i made my bed so i must lie in it. post-scratch kids. also canon)
  
  
  
  • i know i usually start with their characteristics but their ship name is ppr aka pistol pony rodeo (or dirkjake, but i like ppr more)
  • Jake English
    • it is EXTREMELY easy to dislike Jake
    • really weird and kinda reckless?
    • somehow the Hottest Shit in post-scratch kiddom? both Jane and Dirk are in love with him. also Aranea
    • loves plants, kind of lives in a jungle? has never really had a human guardian
    • he thinks good movies and shit movies are both equally great
    • somehow very in tune to other people's feelings towards him and extremely bad at dealing with them
    • had some heart-to-hearts with the Dirk hallucination that lives in his head
    • his relationship with actual Dirk ended badly because he has 0 communication skills
  • Dirk Strider
    • LOML WHO DESERVED BETTER
    • he's the post-scratch predecessor of Dave. therefore cool. but ridiculously more emo
    • you know the type of person that lies in a pool of their own blood like "it's okay it's not that bad i can take it". that Dirk (Dave, at least, has SOME self-preservation skills)
    • is kind of clingy? i guess?
    • this sentence from his wiki: He grew up alone in the single remaining penthouse apartment of a high-rise building in the now-flooded Houston, Texas
    • HE DESERVED SO MUCH BETTER
  • fic i'm not 100% sure represent them well but is fucking phenomenal: Find A Temple, Build A Temple

• Meulin/Kurloz (troll/troll, both beforus)
  
  
  
  • Meulin Leijon
    • excitable cat lady. i love her
    • deaf
    • deaf because her boyfriend at the time (Kurloz) had a nightmare and screamed so loud she went completely deaf
    • ships all their friends. everyone. (her post-scratch counterpart, Nepeta, does the same)
    • might be part of a cult
  • Kurloz Makara
    • quiet
    • because he sew his mouth shut after Meulin went deaf because of him
    • might be leader of a cult. creepy clown guy
  • they broke up in canon after the Incident but are still very close
  • the good thing about this ship is that they show up so little you can run wild and still be in character. bc no one knows their character
  • i think the video has the vibe right
• Rose/Kanaya (human/troll. canon)
  
  
  
  • LESBIAN QUEENS LET'S GO
  • the only functional canon relationship, god (...along with Sollux and Feferi)
  • they're both extremely wordy and kind of sound like your boring, elderly professor in college
  • Rose Lalonde
    • dysfunctional family?
    • the soul of a goth, the appearance of... still a goth. but maybe with some pink here and there
    • smort cookie, almost went to the dark side once
  • Kanaya Maryam
    • used to be auspistices with Vriska and Tavros (she was the mediator)
    • misguided crush on Vriska, she eventually ditched all the auspistice gig when she met Rose
    • fashion queen
    • the mom friend (it's also part of her Plot Stuff)
  • honestly you could write a 1k oneshot of them knitting while Rose babbles about obscure poetry and Kanaya listens with mild confusion but extreme interest, surrounded by their five cats. it would probably be accurate. i think they might have married at some point

3. Random interesting characters in case you need fillers and/or neither of the ships above is cool enough

• Tavros Nitram (troll)
  
  
  in a wheelchair. got robo legs at some point, courtesy of Equius. loves Peter Pan (or the troll version of it) and playing with his friends. a bit of a pushover but a sweet lil dude overall, don't let Vriska near him
  
• Vriska Serket (troll)
  
  
  
  a manipulative bitch but probably has a heart somewhere in there? i hope? her whole thing is spiders and she has mind control, often uses it to make Tavros's life hell, in a very literal and very painful way. had a Moment with June once which made me ship them, it looked like she opened up and it was really nice and then she tried to kill June
  
• Terezi Pyrope (troll)
  
  
  
  Sort of Karkat's ex girlfriend. blind. at one point Aranea cured her eyes but Terezi ended up blinding herself again because going blind was a special part of her past and she didn't want to lose that. LISTEN TO TEREZI FFS. she would tease you for any and everything but unlike Vriska some people she's not violent about it; LOVES law & justice; she ~experiences~ colors by licking them and her favorite is red. has a crush on Karkat and/or Dave
  
• Eridan Ampora (troll)
  
  
  
  In love with Feferi. that's about 70% of his personality, at some point kinda went wee woo and attempted to eradicate everyone; that aside, a pretentious little shit (second only to Feferi in royal blood). likes scarves. he probably liked it before it was cool
  
• Nepeta Leijon (troll)
  
  
  
  Awesome shippy cat lady #2; Equius's best friend, gives 0 fucks about his royal bullshit even though she's a lower rank than him. Equius likes to try to control her life and make her ~stay away from filthy peasants~ but it's like controlling a hormonal 16-yo; lives in a cave, hunts for food and draws shippy comics with her prey's blood. take that as you will
  
• Jade Harley (human)

Feferi's human version, sort of. loves plants/gardening, probably smarter than everyone but comes off as kind of quirky? has narcolepsy (mostly because Vriska mind-controls her), is forgetful and has a badass dog guardian who might be omnipotent. she likes pumpkins and furries. plays the flute badly and is really good with the electric guitar and also a shotgun; becomes a Witch of Space (a god tier class/aspect), hence can communicate with the Horrorterrors in space. possibly had a thing with Dave at some point? (don't think it was returned tho)

• Porrim Maryam (troll, beforus)

hottest dead girl on the block. fashion icon (Kanaya's predecessor, so it makes sense; Kanaya is more low-key though, Porrim is more like the lesbian thirst traps on twitter); has a soft spot for Kankri because of Plot Shit but her role in general is more nurturing, hence the extra mom friend-ness. ig that makes her a milf

• Horuss Zahhak (troll, beforus)

genuinely obsessed with horse dick. Zahhaks are just weird (his ancestor is Equius). is moirails with Meulin and tries to learn sign language for her but is really bad about it which makes him sad :( honestly seems nicer than Equius but infinitely more weird

• Horrorterrors - honestly, make up any big ass tentacle (or not) monster, you got an eldrich horrorterror; they're mostly nice, especially to Jade